i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
