i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
