the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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