Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
