so explain again why im purple
no
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
