You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
