i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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