I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize