the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
