i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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