I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
