is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize