I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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