he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
