How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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