You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
false alarm. still invincible.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
