he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
