so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
