Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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