i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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