god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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