I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
