Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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