Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
