a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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