The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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