That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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