I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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