Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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