The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
