also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
