Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
