I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
