i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
