I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
