I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
