you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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