For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
