I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
