White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so let's talk penis.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
