Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
