He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We left the knife in your bed.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
