What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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