But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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