so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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