I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
