why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
