what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
