dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
