OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
