OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
