Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
