While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
