Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
