This girl is more easily done than said...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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