Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
