Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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