she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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