The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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