I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
