He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
honey bunches of taint.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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