I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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