we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
